It’s not to say that I’ve never done this before and yet, here I am feeling nervous about promoting my latest novel, Maid for More. I find myself shrinking back from the actions I know I should be taking to make the launch of the book a success, but when I look deeper, I find myself facing my shortcomings. These include self-doubt, fear of being in the spotlight and imposter syndrome.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who has had to face these when putting out a creative endeavour, so join me as I look down the barrel of each of these, starting off with…
Self-doubt
Is this book any good? People are going to shred it to bits. What if this is my worst book ever? Should I even put it out? And the thoughts go on and on and on. But when I stop and think about it, I’m not going to up and quit writing. It’s one of the things in my life that I’ve committed to and will be pursuing into my old age.
Sure, I question the strength of my storytelling. With a critical eye, I can point out where I went wrong with this book. I’m not the best writer, there are so many areas in which I could do better, but in writing and publishing this book, I am becoming a better writer.
Already I recognize the importance of developing characters, not only identifying what they want but knowing who they are and from there, let them lead the story. By doing this, I also lessen those writing sessions where I feel like I’m moving the characters around a chess board rather than letting them flow.
If I let this self-doubt set root and further delay my progress, it will take me longer to write the next book which I’ve already started and have started to workshop as I got stuck. It will also hamper my growth as a writer.
This is one book in a catalog of books, there is no guarantees that every book will be beloved by readers but this is one book that will introduce readers to my work. This is one drop in the ocean, and in nature and business, there is the 80/20 rule in which 20% of a given thing produces 80% of the wanted results. I don’t know if this book will be part of the 20% but at least it has a chance to be.
Now, get out of your head and step out into the spotlight… Oh, yeah, that leads to the next fear.
Fear of being in the spotlight
Just as I’m about to put myself out there, I shrink back. I procrastinate, I focus on work for others, I clean, and/or I veg out on TV shows or YouTube while playing Microsoft’s solitaire challenges. Anything but putting myself out there and it is only in my 40’s that I came to that realization.
I figured my 40’s were going to be about me doing whatever I pleased with my life, then I realized that I had no clue what that was and I discovered that I had mental blocks that got in the way when I did figure out what I wanted. One of which was the fear of being in the spotlight.
Now, I’m not going to go into how this fear came to be but I know that it’s like having the hand brake up while driving. Sure the car moves but not without effort and not without damage to the car. But how do I disengage the hand brake?
Well, let’s see…
remembering that this is not about me, this is about the work and having faith in what I created. I’ve put the work in and it deserves the best chance of being read by the readers who want to read this type of book;
being prepared for when I do step into the spotlight so I don’t have regrets later on. This includes knowing my talking points, having a clear call to action, understanding what works best with the medium and most important, have fun;
remembering that this is a drop in the bucket, a second in time, so make the best of it while I’m in the spotlight because it will be replaced with the next thing. Focus on best practices and leaving an impression, the aim is knowing I did my best instead of having regrets.
Also, I’m not as bad as I think, my best is good enough even though I do suffer from…
Imposter Syndrome
Who am I to say I’m a writer? Who am I to ask you to read my book? Who am I not to?
Why should the Chads of the world get to have all the fun? all the adventures? Here I am an Afro-Caribbean woman who lives on a tiny island writing romance novels about people living on a tiny island. There aren’t any publishers who would consistently publish what I’m write but I’m taking a chance on me.
Am I an imposter? Maybe but I’m having fun with it, there are readers who appreciate what I write and that is saying something. No, I’m not going to win awards but I’m going to ensure that there are books out there that reflect the island experience from an islander who isn’t down on their luck. And my doing this, my being a regular, shmegular person will encourage others to write and publish their stories.
The title of writer is not where the power lies, it’s the writing and the putting it out there, and doing it over and over again is where the power lies. I write because it’s what I do and that is enough for me.
Lol, look how I pulled my self out of that funk. As this is a W’IP It post, I should add that Maid for More will be coming out September 15 and is now available for preorder. To read the first chapter, click here.
And if you made it this far, thank you. Although Happily Ever After in a Small Place is supposed to have a professional vibe, it may end up like this, a ‘personal, pull yourself up and get ish done’ rallying cry. I’m okay with that and I can only hope you are, too.