Until Ciara
An excerpt from The Pleasure is Mine
The following is an excerpt from The Pleasure is Mine, a steamy, contemporary Caribbean romance, which is available in print and ebook through Amazon.
"Look who is all grown up," Pearman grinned as he slid a glass of Sapodilla's Surprise, the resort's signature cocktail, across the counter in front of Theo. The conversation would have continued if it weren't for an older woman at the other end of the bar who caught Pearman's attention.
With a chuckle, Theo scooped up the glass and turned towards the pool. Since he hit puberty, he had taken to watching the guests bathing and sunning themselves from behind his dark shades.
He was about to turn back to the bar when he caught sight of her walking down the path. From where he stood, glass caught halfway to his lips, Theo watched the slender young woman with sun-tanned skin glide along the path. She wore a black bikini top and a sheer fabric draped around her hips that played hide and seek with toned legs. Legs that carried her to a lounge chair on the other side of the pool.
In short order, the woman with large, brown eyes and full lips rested her bag and towel on the chair then removed the fabric that hid a string bikini bottom. She kicked off her sandals before going to the edge of the pool. At first, she dipped a toe in the water. As though satisfied, she slipped in and dove below the surface, leaving nothing but ripples.
Unbeknownst to Theo, his breath had become caught in his throat until he saw her reappear yards away. It was only as he gasped for air that he realized that he was in need of it. Immediately, he brought the glass to his lips, hiding even from himself that this woman he knew nothing about had taken his breath away.
So this is what love at first sight felt like, he mused as he watched the young woman start to swim. He sipped slowly, sometimes forgetting that he hadn't finished the drink.
It was a matter of days before Theo built up the courage to walk up to her. She was not like the women he had come across at university, or at his internships. The woman with a head full of curls that could barely be contained with a simple hairband moved with the grace of a dancer but with a confidence not associated with beauty.
To say she was beautiful was to extend the parameters of beauty to include more attitude than the configuration of features. She wasn't beautiful, but she managed to attract men with ease. From the Activities staff who were always nearby to apply sunscreen to her bare skin to the men who offered to get her a drink at the bar even when she had a drink in her hand. Their rewards were always a sweet smile of thanks and nothing more, and that always seemed to be enough for them. But Theo wanted more than a smile from the female guest who was at the resort on her own.
"I see you've stopped staring," a smirk was barely hidden behind her glass as she swayed to the music of the local band playing that night.
"I wasn't staring," he lied as he took the seat beside her at the bar. "I was..."
She waited, peering at him with those deep brown eyes. She seemed to genuinely want to hear what he had to say.
With a chuckle, Theo looked away, "I was staring."
When he glanced back, she had a warm smile on her face. "Then I guess you liked what you saw."
"Perhaps," he turned back and caught the eye of the bartender. "What are you drinking?" he motioned to her drink.
"Gin and tonic," she jostled the ice in the nearly empty glass. Then she watched as Theo ordered a glass of his own.
"Would you like a refill?" he asked as though it was an afterthought.
At first, she hesitated, then glanced across at the bartender and nodded.
"Perhaps?" she prompted as Theo watched the drinks being made.
With a shrug, he looked across at her, "I don't know if like is the exact word I would use."
"Oh?" she placed her now empty glass on the bar and reached for the new one presented to her. "And what word would you use?"
Theo took a sip of his drink and looked up in the air, deciding if he liked it or not. It was the first time he had drunk a gin and tonic, but he found it complex and somewhat refreshing. He glanced across at the woman beside him and wondered if she was the same.
The drink was new to him, but the conversation was not. The conversation was one he had seen his father and brother perform, and Theo had honed it to his way of being. At last, he smiled, "In time, I'll let you know."
Then he extended his free hand, "Until then, I'm Theo Carlson."
She stared at the offered hand, then a giggle bubbled up when she took it, "Ciara Mitchell."
To Theo's surprise, Ciara never mentioned his having the last name of the owner of the resort. The conversation that followed was the sharing of ideas and beliefs, then promises that the chat would continue. And continue it did.
Over breakfast and sunset walks, they chatted. Theo found himself counting down the minutes until he would see Ciara again and he imagined she did the same. Their chats gave way to kisses in darkened corners, then one night, Ciara took his hand and led Theo to her room.
He became lost in her, both mentally and physically. Ciara was unlike any woman he had ever been with and he didn't want to lose her. The summer was coming to an end, and the thought of going back up North seemed impossible.
"How about you come and visit me?" he asked as he traced the outline of her dark brown nipple.
When no answer came, Theo looked up to find Ciara sleeping. It wasn't the first time she hadn't answered his question of the future.
It couldn't be just this summer, he lay back and propped his head up on the pillow to look out at the points of light streaking in the dark void beyond the glass door.
She stirred beside him, and Theo was going to repeat the question, but her delicate fingers wrapped around his cock and Theo decided the future could wait.
Unfortunately, it couldn't wait forever and time had all but run out. At the last minute, Theo changed the date of his flight. He would demand that they work it out to keep in touch. No, more than that, Theo would demand that they keep in touch.
As he climbed the steps to her room, he ran through what he would say. But as he stepped onto the landing, Theo came to an abrupt stop as he watched a man with gray hair at his temples close the door to Ciara's room.
Theo would have thought it was nothing if it weren't for the rumpled clothes the man was smoothing out with his palms. Theo saw the way the older man looked at the door before he turned away. He had done the very same thing as he recalled the last evening he had spent with Ciara. Was this man recalling the press of her full lips against his or the way her body opened up and then wrapped itself around him?
When the man looked away and into Theo's eyes, they both knew. The older man looked down, then hustled past him. Theo watched him make his descent and disappear down a path.
As he turned back, Theo found it hard to find his heart. It seemed not to be beating in his chest. Was it that dead heart that made his feet heavy and clumsy as he made his way to the door he knew so well? Was it his heart that weighed down his hand? He fought against gravity to raise it and watched his hand club at the door.
Was it his heart that screeched, making it hard to hear the movement on the other side of the door? He wanted her to open it and he didn't want her to.
Ciara opened the door, her hair tussled about bare shoulders as she held the bed linen to her chest. A lazy, sexy smile melted away as she looked up at Theo. In those damn, deep brown eyes, he saw her wonder if he knew.
"Had a good evening?" Theo found his heart at the base of his throat.
"Theo," she breathed out. Ciara stepped forward and he stepped back, the smell of cologne filling his nostrils. With a sigh, she stepped back into the doorway, "I can't give you what you want."
"And what is that?" he asked through clenched teeth.
"Ever after," she peered up at him. "I don't do 'ever after'," she tried to smile, but in the end, she shook her head.
With a shrug, Ciara cocked her head to the side, "It was fun, but it was only for a summer."
It stung and Theo looked to the stairs, "And him?"
She waited until he returned his gaze to her, "For last night, I'm leaving this afternoon."
He didn't even know that, Theo never knew exactly when she would leave the resort. Ciara just refused to talk about tomorrow. Maybe to her, there were no tomorrows, just todays. And today, she would simply slip out of his life, leaving nothing but a memory of what he would have wanted to last forever.
"I'm sorry, Theo," she did seem sorry but not for hurting him. Ciara was sorry that he didn't know or understand her. She retreated to the dim room and closed the door.
Now Theo was on the other side. He had seen this scene play out before, but he was always in there, in the room, not outside it. Always on this side was a tear-streaked face of a woman whose sobs he could hear from where he sat in the living room or the dining room. The door would close and his father would go back to what he was doing as though nothing had happened. A younger Theo would listen to the sobs until they faded away or they would simply stop.
In this moment, Theo couldn't remember how long he would have listened to the woman's sobs. He didn't know how long he had stood at Ciara's doorway. His mind had filled with the time they spent over the summer. He tried to see the signs and now they blazed brightly in his hindsight like caution signs. Was he so blinded by what he believed to be love that he didn't see how Ciara always kept a distance? What of her not speaking of the future? Or not making plans beyond the next day? What of her making love to him as though it was the last time? She always knew that it was not forever and he would not even entertain the thought that it was just for now?
At last, he turned away. The door was now tattooed into his retina, the scene played over and over with real-world clarity. With each replay, Theo questioned if he had it all wrong.
Maybe what he was looking for did not exist. Maybe he should be more like her. Maybe he should be like his father. Maybe...
Theo buried himself in his studies, he took on more courses and busied himself with internships, all so he wouldn't remember her. In the quiet moments, just as he would fall asleep, he would think of that day, then sleep would pull him under into dreams of hot summer nights and a woman who didn't exist in the tomorrow.
The Christmas of his senior year, he chose to spend it back home. He had yet to warm to ice and snow, and preferred the hot sun overhead and the warm sand underfoot.
He was sitting at the bar by the pool, nursing a gin and tonic when he saw her. Theo did a double-take, then realized it wasn't Ciara. Yet, she seemed to sense Theo's gaze and she looked his way, giving him a smile. He returned the smile out of courtesy and nothing more. But what would be more? How different was she from the woman who had fit a lifetime into one summer?
Downing the last of the gin and tonic, Theo turned to Pearman and held up two fingers, "Surprises." Thanking the bartender who wore a smirk as he placed the glasses in front of him, Theo turned and walked over to a woman with large, brown eyes and full lips.
She accepted the drink and his company. Three days later, it was she who invited Theo to her room. He made love to her as though it was their last time and, when it was his time to return North, it was their last time. He didn't even wait to see her tears, to hear her sobs.
Until Ciara, Theo never knew himself to play the game, but now he played it and he played it well. But... but would he play it when it came to the woman to whom he sent the picture of his dick? It was turning out to be a different type of game.
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Photo by Rafael Barros